So today was the first appointment of the next 500 to come for baby #3 and me. But today was just a “nurse appointment”. Does anyone else have to do these? I say to myself as I am sitting there answering questions to which the answers lie in that 20lb file she had sitting in front of her, is this all I get? Questions, a bag full of Parenting/Baby Magazines, a book on breast feeding, free samples of prenatal vitamins riddled with thediaperdiaries favorite fiber treat? Can’t I at least pee in a cup or something? I mean I don’t really look pregnant, I feel like I have a never ending cold, and have no clue when my due dae is and all I get is a sudo-prenatal visit. Urghh…
First the questions:
Would I like HIV testing? Hummm let me think, married 7 years, 2 kids working on baby 3? Had the test the first time around… so I think I am safe.
Am I Jewish? Why does that matter you wonder? Well I guess they have special test for Jewish people. Ok interesting, I almost want to say yes to see what this test is. I am missing out on something incrediable or do they want to know my opinion on circumsicion?
The best part is when they ask if we have an heriditary conditions in our family they should be aware of. I say yes, they are all crazy. But I guess she thinks that is more nurture than nature, great there goes my kids chances 🙂
But after all of this there is a bonus round. I finally get to do something else, a trip to the lab for a blood draw.
Let me tell you right now that this is no treat for me. I start to get cold sweats when someone starts talking to me about shots or blood draw. But I am the eager beaver today when she asks me if I have time to stop by the lab. So I go down to the second floor and enter. So far so good, I think. Perhaps I am getting older and maturing out of my fear of the needle.
My name is called and I go back. I look around for anything to distract me from the impending needle. First the technican locks me in my chair and then proceeds to place a sterile papertowl under my arm. I say, are you planning on a blood spill? I say this jokingly because I am not about to piss off the woman holding the weapon. I think about telling her I am with child so she has sympathy on me. I always worry these techs may be having a bad day and just can’t wait to give someone a good poke to fullfil their need to vent. But I think she seem pretty chipper as she pulls out 5 vials to fill.
Then she wraps my arm with the rubberband and proceeds to look for a vain. While I stare down at my arm thinking what does she see, why did I lay out in the sun, why did I think I wanted to do this today? I think she senses my apprehension. Look away she says and then nothing. She is the best, I felt nothing. I want to rant and rave how great she is but I hold the applause until the end. She has 5 of those vials to fill and I don’t want her to lose her concentration.
So she is done in minutes flat. Then as she unlocks me from my saftey seat she hand me a cup to pee in. Finally, something I can feel pregnant doing.