So today I have the day to spend with the kids until my oldest goes to afternoon kindergarten. While taking advantage of this time to do a few errands my oldest engages me in a conversation with this question.
J- “Mom, how will the baby come out of your tummy?”, mind you I am driving at the time so thank goodness he does not have to witness my expression which is pretty much pure terror.
Me – “Good question honey.” Stall……. stall…. thinking how to explain…. wondering why I am the only adult in the car right now….. wondering if I can switch topics without him noticing…. wondering how much my husband would be laughing right now if he were here… wondering if I will scar my child for life if I tell him the truth.
I look in the mirror and glance over my shoulder. J is seriously waiting for the answer. Personal pep talk – Ok, toughen up mom just tell him the truth!
Me – “Well the baby is in my tummy and then you know where mommy goes potty?”
J – “Yes.”
Me – “Well the baby comes out of that area.” Mind you I am trying to explain this, drive and gesture at the same time to my VJJ area (thanks Oprah! although I use the real world with my kids). I look in the mirror and I can tell he is not quite getting it or maybe not believing me.
In the meantime my youngest Z decides to join in the conversation.
Z – “Mommy, the baby comes out of your weiner?”
Me – holding in a laugh and figuring that if he can say weiner I can tell him exactly where the baby comes from.
Me – “Girl’s don’t have weiners, they have vagina’s and that is where the baby comes from.” I give myself a little virtual pat on the back because I said the words and nobody fainted, including me.
J still looks puzzled so I repeat the words with a little gesture from my belly to my VJJ area. I think he gets it and thank goodness by that time I think the topic of conversation begins to change about a playground we pass outside.
Wow, all that and it is just the start of the weekend.